Sitting on the Couch and HTHT with Deenise

I just came back from a Christmas party and if you were to sit beside on my comfy couch, I would probably get you to engage in a HTHT ( heart-to-heart) session with me. And the conversation would go something like this…

Me: Hi…Let’s skip the introduction. Read what I will be typing out, will you?

The Friend: Yeah, sure, of course. Some wine please?


Me: Recently, I was asked about …
1) What are my HIGHS and LOWS of 2011?
2) Is there anything that you are looking forward to in 2012?

Such thought-provoking questions, I thought, needed to be written down in a stone slab where I could review it again if I want to. Nothing else is more concrete and accessible then the Internet,right? I’ve always wanted to blog something personal so that my readers would get to know me better.But I thought, I might want to talk it through with someone else first before publishing my blog post.

After all, it’s coming to the end of the year and this is the best time to do a little reflection of this happening year 2011. This is the season where everyone will get into the mood of writing their own resolutions and setting goals for 2012. Have you written your new year resolutions?

The Friend: Erm…no?

Me: Oh well, hear mine then.

Let’s start with the LOWS.

I didn’t exactly enjoy the start of 2011 maybe because there weren’t many exciting or memorable events that I’ve attended. All I remembered was how I go about doing my job search online,attending interviews and figuring out my career paths. It was all about work then.

Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day and my Birthday( which falls on 4 of May) were just like any other days in my daily calender. Sadly, I haven’t had people celebrating my birthdays because it usually falls during the exam period where everyone is busy mugging for their exams. I haven’t been celebrating my birthday for the longest time, EVER!How I wish I did actually celebrated my 21st birthday with my close family and friends, with a cake decorated with colourful icings and candles. I often envy those who had thrown joyous 21st birthday parties with their loved ones witnessing how much they’ve grown over the years. It’s one of those significant life events that you’ll reminisce and savour those beautiful moments where you receive tokens of love from your family and friends.Sometimes I found myself reading news feed of 21st birthdays with envy. Not celebrating my 21st birthday is one of my greatest regret by far. Or maybe 4 May just isn’t significant in the lives of people who were part of my life. Or maybe it’s just an unlucky day that no one wants to celebrate it. It’s MAY DAY.

I can’t stand doing nothing!

I like it when my stocking is filled with presents even if it’s just crushed paper, confetti or Styrofoam to just filled up the space. If I find my Christmas stocking empty, I would start wondering why their empty and start searching for things to fill my stocking. I can’t stand it when it’s all empty and bare. On some days when I had nothing to do, I would moan and get really emo…

However, as the year progresses, things started to look a little more cheery and brighter and that’s when the LOWS in my life starts to dwindle in size and magnitude. Life is always fair.


I took the plunge and decided to join my university mates for a backpacking trip to Vietnam and Cambodia. The bunch of fun-loving people I went with had kicked me out of the “misery” bin. Every single day of the trip was eventful and exhilarating, and most important of all, I felt truly blessed and joyful.But once we are back in Singapore, the hangover effect kicked in. I am a person who yearns for excitement every single day and detest boredom.

However the days ahead did indeed look much rosier when I receive an email to notify me that I was  selected to be one of the finalist under the Y blogger category. From then on, I started to blogging seriously and tried my very best to bring it up to the next level. A slew of blogging event invitations came along and I started attending these events through which I get to know more bloggers and expand my horizon on the blogosphere. I wouldn’t have known that blogging would have taken me that far.Although I was not the winner of the Y bloggist category, I came in second in place and by either pure luck or God’s grace, I was entitled to embarked on an all-expenses paid trip to Melbourne because the award winning blogger could not make it for the trip. It sounded crazy but true. Perhaps its God’s 21st birthday gift for me. God is good.

Time passed really fast. Then, October came and my spiritual journey take flight when I finally found a sanctuary and a place for worshipping God. I could finally fine tuned to God’s voice! Through my brothers and sisters in Christ, I begin to understand myself better. All along I thought I was tough, strong and that nothing could put me down. But, in fact, my heart was made out of marshmallows. I get flatten down with just one push with your finger but once your finger is lifted up, I am back to myself again! So how do I deal with my marshmallow heart? I’ve yet to find out from God. He will provide me with the answers some day. Ironically, I wasn’t really afraid of people squashing my marshmallows. At least, I knew what it is like getting hurt and I could put these feelings into the songs I sing for the people.

I can’t help to think how the Lord has actually put me out of several life/death situations and miseries in my life. What a coincidence to know that I was about to drown when I saw that ring float right above my head in the swimming pool. What a relief to know that I wasn’t hurt when I got almost flunk out by the horse during horseback ridding. It’s so comforting to know that my singing videos on YouTube actually benefit others when I receive messages from strangers who talk about how my videos cheer them up or had touched their lives. It’s great knowing that the people around me has been supporting my YouTube Channel and blog. It’s awesome knowing that my family is always there for me when I needed them. It’s even more awesome knowing that God has always been there for me.

The Friend: Pretty cool. So what’s your take for 2012?

Me: Maybe I should start my saying this.

I’m an ISFP.

According to the Myers-Briggs personality type assessment, I’m the Artist.

Taken from my sketchbook. Sometimes I relish the times I use to draw freely with my hands and eyes.

I = Introverted
S = Sensing
F = Feeling
P = Perception 

Awkwardly, I dislike labelling myself as an introvert. I am learning to tip the scale to the extroverted end but somehow the nature of the person can’t be changed. Sometimes I just choose not to talk. But over the years, I do really hope I would become more of an extrovert so that in social situations, there wouldn’t be any awkward silence where the black crow would fly past.

Here’s what’s gonna happen in 2012.

1) I’m wearing braces! 

I hope I am not wearing this for too long. Imagine all those ulcer that are gonna erupt! Hopefully I could do a blog post about it.

2) Learning Horse back riding

I’ve sign up for a short course on horseback riding. Let’s hope I don’t get tossed out by the horse again…

3) Learning to play the violin

I can’t wait to learn a new instrument! I’ve already got my hands on a violin!

4) More YouTube singing videos to inspire people!

5) Closer walk with God and leading a God-centred life

Leading song worship in my cell, singing praises to the Lord and doing things that pleases the Lord.

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